Sympathy for Mr.Remake

I say 'Mr' as only men could be stupid enough to go through with remaking any of the proposed or in development projects connected to five masterpieces by Chan-wook Park. I would be wrong, but we'll get to that later. As of yet none of Park's films have been remade, unless you count Zinda which was thought to have heavily plagurized Oldboy, but with Hollywood running out of J-Horror's to remake, It's time for the fingers to be pointed towards South Korea.

According to an article by Variety, Park's latest film Thirst, a horror about a Priest turned Vampire, is already on the cards to be remade due to the huge success of Twilight. Other successful vampire-themed projects in the last year have included Let The Right One In and True Blood, and with Twilight's sequel New Moon released later in the year, It could make sense to cash in now before the trend dies out. What annoys me most is that those of interest probably haven't even seen the film yet. The US limited release date is July 31st (on a side note, I won't be able to see it until its UK release date on October 16th).

It is probably a well known fact amongst Park fans that Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are in the process of remaking Oldboy, which followed the story of Oh Dae-su, imprisoned for 15 years for reasons unknown to him, then let out beginning his quest of revenge tied up with romance. The film included a scene in which Dae-su ate a live octopus, and an incest sub-plot. Both are not present in the original manga. Unsurprisingly, the remake will not include these (aiming for a PG-13 or R rating). I am a fan of Will Smith, I liked his recent projects I Am Legend and The Pursuit of Happiness. It is, however, a different story for Steven Spielberg. You can bet 50/50 on whether films directed and/or produced by Steve are loved or hated by critics (for example), but my disapproval comes from his arrogance. In relation to Spielberg, one of his producer colleagues from Transformers, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, is developing a Sympathy For Mr.Vengeance remake.

Aroused business men aren't the only ones interested in getting into some of the remake action though. Charlize Theron is interested in producing and starring in her own version of Sympathy For Lady Vengance, which followed a young woman's quest for vengeance after being wrongfully imprisoned for murder . For me, Sympathy For Lady Vengeance is Park's best film and definately one of my top 10 of all time. I am fond of Theron, but she won't bring what Lee Yeong-ae brought to Lee Geum-ja.

Lastly, one of Park's earlier films, Joint Security Area, is to be remade by David Franzoni (someone else with connected with Spielberg) as Joint Security America. The original followed the relationships between the soldiers at the border of the communist North Korea and the Capitalist South. Joint Security America will interpret this through the border of North America and Mexico. This sounds promising, although assuming that David Franzoni will be writing it too , It's unlikely to be amazing.

Looking at Hollywood Eastern Asia remakes in general, the results have mostly been hidious. Remember One Missed Call? That was a remake of Chakushin Ari by none other than Miike Takeshi (Ichi The Killer). The only good thing about it was the 2 minute scene with Margaret Cho. Ring, Dark Water, The Eye, Pulse, Mirrors. Have all ultimately been badly recieved by critics. In terms of non-horrors, My Sassy Girl (starring Jun Ji-hyun aka Saya in Blood: The Last Vampire) was recently remade. Alas, another failure, both critically and to my delight, commerically. I did however enjoy the first Grudge remake, but that has alot to do with the film being directed by the original director Takeshi Shimizu. Unfortunately, the likes of Hansel and Gretel, The Host, and Park's films are likely to gain the same treatment. At least it shows the care that non-hollywood creators put into their work, and I'm not saying that Hollywood doesn't care, but there are a significant minority there - and elsewhere - that are all about the bucks.

Transformers: Rise of the Fallen

Admittedly I didn't particularly have great expectations about this film. I only went to see it as The Hangover was an hour later, and I didn't have that much patience. So, if the Odeon calculations are anything to go by, I decided to go see a 2 hour and 47 minute Michael Bay film instead. That's longer than the new Harry Potter film. But, unlike Harry Potter, I wasn't wishing for Devastator to suck me up half-way through. If only this was in 3D.

I should point out the few good points. There's loads of explosions, Shia gets pinned down by Megatron (without any gore, sadly), and Rainn Wilson has a cameo. John Turturro also gives a comedic performance. However, the storyline seems to resolve around Sam's pathetic excuse of a relationship with Mikaela (Megan Fox), whilst it should primarily resolve around the Autobots and Decepticons. Furthermore, both sides need Sam in order to find and unlock something, but I won't ruin your potential misery. I suppose there has to be some sort of human connection - but does there really though? Are people going to see this film to watch Fox in cringeworthy make-out scenes, or watch Bumblebee exterminate a few transformers in Sam's backgarden?

It's fair to say that I don't enjoy Michael Bay's films, with the exception of The Island which had its faults, such as being a clone in itself (maybe that was for ironic purposes). The news that Bay wont be returning to direct the third gives me hope.

2/5

(Yeah, I know it's too short, but this is all I can injure for Bay. I was thinking of doing a video in which I repeatedly slap myself, much like Kermode's review in which he hits his head against a wall, but this will do.)